Saturday, June 28, 2008

Politics Explained

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and
puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care
of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes
them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared
for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the
government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as
much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you
to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take
care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of
them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both
of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick
someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates
what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you
not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and
pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms
accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a
fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one
and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to
take harmonica lessons.

(Original source unknown . . . this version expanded and Illuminated by SJ.)

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

More Poetry

"The Sick Rose"
O rose, thou art sick!
The invisible worm,
That flies in the night,
In the howling storm,

Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy,
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.

RIP

Another vehicle bites the dust, my Jeep is dead. I loved her dearly.
Time for the process of hunting down another decent car at a decent
price, and getting my problems straightened out.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Asking For It

Pushing her to the wall, roughly, violently, angrily, his satisfaction
at the release of his rage making him throb in his pants. He'd never
forced a woman to do anything before, but she had provoked and
provoked and provoked, always saying no, always moving his hands away!


Grabbing her hands and twisting her body, the young man thrust again
against the wall, rubbing her body against it as his bulging pants
ground hard against the rising hem of the skirt above her pert round
ass. It was time to make that ass pay the checks it was writing. He
bit down on her shoulder, her skin glistening with moisture already
from the heat of the summer day, the heat that would not go out of his
head, the heat that clouded his mind, the heat that was just one more
straw on the mound of mounting stress that made him too furious to
control himself.

She moaned, her body taken, her legs spreading. Every buck of his hips
against her ass thrusting and rubbing her whole body between the wall
and his chest. Oh how she moaned, moaned out a hushed and whispered
plea, "...no... no... please no..."

His hand moved before he even thought about what he was doing. It
struck across her bared ass with a violent clap of palm and fingers
across vulnerable skin, leaving it tingling, and slightly off color in
the center of her cheek. She let out a moaning cry, thrusting her ass
against his hand before the second strike fell. Was she still
encouraging him? Her further cries from each strike silencing her
pleading lips.

His fingers grabbed and arched and finally the spanking slowed as he
tore at her underwear, his fingers pushing forward and rubbing deep
along the lips of her c%n# from behind as his palm reached down her
bare and deeply shaded ass. They probed, and prodded, feeling damp as
he stroked through the thin fabric of the garment, before tearing it
aside and stroking bare flesh. Faint curses barely even whispered
escaped her lips when his fingers began to work inside of her,
whispers lost entirely amidst the moans the feelings she was unable to
control as they made her body succumb to his teasing.

Without even a thought, his pants were undone, and his hard throbbing
shaft was buried to his balls in her tight flesh, his right hand
wrapped around her body. Her shirt was ripped open to her middle, her
breast exposed, her bra displaced as her nipples displayed openly, as
much as the wetness leaking between her thighs, her needs, and
betrayed the false nature of her struggles. Her arms twisted, her body
squirmed, all a show of resistance, each action only grinding her
body, as every inch of it had seemed to become a sensual erogenous
zone, rubbed against her aggressor.

He filled her up, violating her. It was quick, and violent. Both
bodies sweat from the exertion as he forced her again and again, mixed
fluids dripping down her thighs. They grew sticky with sweat and seed
clinging together whenever their sides touched.

When he had done with her, he pulled back, dripping, his pants about
his ankles and threw her to the bed in anger, his c%!* still raging
hard from the heat of the moments. She lay there, her clothes ripped,
every hidden bit of her flesh exposed, sweaty, and covered in the
secretions of their sins.

Her lips parted, and she moaned, "I've been waiting for you to get the
balls to do that for weeks..."

Those words drizzled through the air like oil as they massaged their
way into his ears, her form twisting as he stood, towering over her as
she lay spent on the bed, her fingers reaching upward... wrapping
around his c%!*.. and followed shortly by her briefly still unsullied
lips...

Friday, June 13, 2008

I Love Poetry

by Langston Hughes:
The new wikipedia tour of poets is pretty excellent so far. I'm
touring both poets and wine, and while the wine is extremely
educational, I'm loving the poets more. Every email so far has
introduced me to a knew poet, or one that I'd heard the poetry of but
didn't know the name. Today, though, it was simply a very good reason
to revisit the works of Langston Hughes. Everyone should take this
wikipedia tour, and remember to find the links in the article to
poems.

"Harlem" by Langston Hughes
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Monday, June 09, 2008

Recipes From Steven

THE GREAT AMERICAN HAMBURGER

American-Burger.jpg
Source: The Barbecue Bible by Steven Raichlen (Workman, 2008)
Method: Direct grilling
Serves: 6

For the burgers:

2-1/4 pounds ground beef (preferably ground chuck)
6 slices (each 1/2-inch thick) Vidalia or other sweet onion (optional)
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, or 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
6 hamburger buns

For the toppings– any or all:

Iceberg lettuce leaves
Sliced ripe tomatoes
Sliced dill pickles or sweet pickles
Cooked bacon (2 slices per burger)
Ketchup, Mustard, and Mayonnaise

Divide the meat into six equal portions. Lightly wet your hands with
cold water, then form each portion of meat into a round patty about 4
inches across.

Set up the grill for direct grilling and preheat to high.

When ready to cook, brush and oil the grill grate.

If using onion slices, brush them on both sides with melted butter and
season with salt and pepper. Place the onion on the hot grate and
grill until nicely browned, about 4 minutes per side, then transfer to
a plate.

Brush one side of the meat patties lightly with melted butter and
season with salt and pepper. Arrange the burgers, buttered side down,
on the hot grate and grill until the bottoms are nicely browned, 4 to
5 minutes. Brush the tops lightly with some of the melted butter and
season them with salt and pepper. Using a spatula, turn the burgers
and grill until they are browned and cooked to taste, 4 to 5 minutes
longer for medium. Meanwhile, brush the cut sides of the buns with the
remaining melted butter and toast them, cut sides down, on the grill
during the last 2 minutes the burgers cook.

Set out the toppings. Put the burgers and onion slices on buns and serve.

WASABI GOAT CHEESE LAMB-BURGER

Source: Recipe courtesy of Steven Raichlen
Method: Direct grilling
Serves: 6

2-1/2 pounds ground lamb
1 3-inch log of goat cheese, chilled
Coarse salt (kosher or sea) and freshly ground black pepper
6 pita breads
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Wasabi Cream for serving (recipe follows)

Lightly wet your hands with cold water and divide the ground lamb into
12 equal portions. Form each into a round patty about 1/2 inch thick.
Cut the goat cheese into six equal rounds.

Place a round of goat cheese on a lamb patty; top with another patty
and seal the edges.

Set up the grill for direct grilling and preheat to high.

When ready to cook, brush and oil the grill grate. Brush one side of
the lamb patties lightly with olive oil and season with salt and
pepper. Arrange the burgers, oiled side down, on the hot grate and
grill until the bottoms are nicely browned, 4 to 5 minutes. Brush the
tops lightly with olive oil and season them with salt and pepper.
Using a spatula, turn the burgers and grill until they are browned and
cooked to taste, 4 to 5 minutes longer for medium. Meanwhile, brush
the pita breads with the remaining olive oil and toast them on the
grill during the last 2 minutes the burgers cook.

Split or slice the pita breads to accommodate the burgers. Serve with
Wasabi Cream.

Wasabi Cream

Makes about 1 cup

1 to 2 tablespoons wasabi powder, or more to taste
1 tablespoon lemon juice (or more as needed)
1 cup mayonnaise (Hellmann's preferred)

Combine the wasabi powder and lemon juice and mix until a smooth paste
is formed. Let sit for 5 minutes for the flavors to develop. Add the
mayonnaise and whisk to combine. Refrigerate until serving time.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Birthday

My birthday was pretty good. I heard from a lot of people and I felt
really loved. I am having to cancel my bbq plans for tomorrow at my
mom's request, and there is no schedule to have them some other time.
I'm not happy with that, but c'est la vi...

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Memorial Day Addendum

So I don't forget, I am proud to say that Robert, Cassie, Matt,
Michael Anne, Justin, Cymeron, Tim, Jamie, Jackson, Jake, John, Kevin,
Russell, Greg, Trent, Chuck, and my mom all made it to the party, and
it was my pleasure and honor to cook for all of them.

Memorial Day

Super late blog follows:

Memorial day was awesome. Almost everyone chipped in. I've never in my
life cooked a brisket with all the extras for so cheap. Only 60 bucks
and the whole party of 17 - 19 people was fed to stuffed.

I made the best brisket in my life, which was surprising. I overcooked
it a little, so the meat was a bit tough, but the seasoning was the
best I've ever done. But I also did something else special.. instead
of just slicing it, all of it, including awkwardly slicing the tip.. I
chopped the tip up to make chopped beef sandwiches with, which turned
out AMAZING. People loved the brisket, but the sandwiches were even
more impressive and they were devoured incredibly quickly.

Kevin FINALLY brought the potato salad that his mom makes that he is
always bragging about. And.. I really have to say, it was every bit as
good as he described. It was the mustard kind, which is my favorite.
I've only had his mom's cooking a few times, but she is very good.

Robert made it, and he brought some lemon souffles, which were
delicious! I loved them, and learned how to make them on wednesday
after a long day at work. I really like Chefs 2b.

The parties are going really well there, and I'm having lots of fun
doing them. I particularly like making the cupcakes, because the
batter tastes so good.

Anywho, I don't remember all the events, but Rock Band went VERY well
that night, I made a breakthrough on the drums and I can beat almost
every song on medium now. Soon on to hard. Everyone played a lot.

It was awesome, Jake managed to come over even though he was very
tired from a weekend of partying at a relative's reunion.

Okay, tomorrow is my birthday and tonight my mom is taking me out to
eat, so I am out of here. I don't know what we're eating, but I can't
wait to find out.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

War

If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq
theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112
deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 10,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 10,000 for the same
period.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in
theU.S. Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the
nation, than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington immediately.

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