Friday, January 07, 2011

Food is not all you can eat.



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: What do you want?
Stranger: you
Stranger: and
Stranger: your
You: God, I've been waiting for this moment for so long
Stranger: beautiful
Stranger: soul
You: Do you want kids?
Stranger: hmmmm
Stranger: how many are we talking here?
Stranger: 1-3?
You: 1.5
Stranger: 4'7?
Stranger: 1.5 is good
Stranger: what are we going to do with the other .5 though?
Stranger: donate it?
You: There is no .5, you stunt the second one's growth with coffee and cigarettes at 9
Stranger: oh, okay
Stranger: yes, then
Stranger: 1.5 kids with you sounds perfect
You: With enough booze in their system, they'll never even mentally mature past 9, they'll be a .5 forever
Stranger: let's get started
You: I can't. I'm sterile. I had my tubes tied.
Stranger: awww.
Stranger: let's adopt!
You: Yes!!
Stranger: from where though?
You: Antarctica.
You: Eskimo babies.
Stranger: yesyesyes
You: It may take some mild frost bite to get them, but they will be ours, whether the parents agree or not
Stranger: oohhh, possible kidnapping
Stranger: i like it
Stranger: and don't worry dear, i'll pack the warm jackets
You: It's not kidnapping if they're not citizens of a country.
Stranger: a valid point
You: Or is it? Is kidnapping a legal term or an emotional one?
You: Like, "You kidnapped my heart forever"?
You: Or, "I've never been more in love with you than when you stole that baby"
Stranger: good question.
You: Or is it specifically the unlawful abduction of a child from its legal guardians?
Stranger: let's stick to 'it's only kidnapping if we ask for a randsom'
You: Okay, well, I'm not asking for a randsom, so what is it then?
You: Surpris adoption?
Stranger: yes.
Stranger: supride adoption sounds good.
Stranger: suprise, rather.
You: Yes.
You: Well, it's decided then. We have a lot of packing and planning to do, I'll see you later tonight, okay?
Stranger: sounds good, love
You: Good bye.
You have disconnected.

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