Why do people look for the holy grail? Why do they fight and die over it? What is it about belief and meaning that make history so relevant?
Things I used to think were silly I see now with so much clarity, the significance of the ages is so awesome. Why do people care about these things? It's more elusive a question than asking what these things really are.
What is more important than a secret? The importance of the secret.
What is more important than knowing? Understanding.
Does that make the secret insignificant? No, to look for something for a lifetime and find that you were looking at it all wrong, that what you were looking for may exist but that there is a greater importance that is on the other side brings shivers to my core... how valuable is a focus that drives an inquiring mind to destinations untold? Does it matter what the focus is?
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
Things Constantly Lost
I'm always forgetting things, and I ought to write this here, so that I may not forget it again for a very long time. Gamespotting was a very good thing. I came weekly, fanatically almost, to read the opinions of every editor, I found it extremely worth my time in that it offered a lot of insight and inspired a lot of internal debate for me, and gave me a lot of link fodder, and even introduced me to the forums at 3d Buzz where I spent several years time on the forums making good friends.
This is the best Gamespotting editorial ever. I loved every minute of it. It was both intriguing, genuine, and at the very same time satirical to its core.
Whenever I remember Gamespotting, I remember that article, and I happened upon it so easily when in the past I've spent hours digging it up because of my current rank, Minus World.
Curious to the meaning, I did a search on it, and it led me to Gamespotting 87, and at the top of the list, the article I remember so very well. I post the link here, so that maybe I wont forget it so very easily in the future. Here's hoping that I remember where I kept it.
This is the best Gamespotting editorial ever. I loved every minute of it. It was both intriguing, genuine, and at the very same time satirical to its core.
Whenever I remember Gamespotting, I remember that article, and I happened upon it so easily when in the past I've spent hours digging it up because of my current rank, Minus World.
Curious to the meaning, I did a search on it, and it led me to Gamespotting 87, and at the top of the list, the article I remember so very well. I post the link here, so that maybe I wont forget it so very easily in the future. Here's hoping that I remember where I kept it.
Monday, May 15, 2006
A friend in need
A friend in need
My mom is a friend in need. I need to help her move, I need to make it to a minor emergency clinic on the way home. I need to get my car fixed, it’s leaking radiator fluid, not fun. I need my plants to stop dying. Joe needs a job. My sister needs gas money to get places.
It was a pretty good weekend, had a big party at George’s house on Saturday, he paid for a bbq, and I used logs for the first time ever. Real logs. Three of them cooked everything in my entire grill better than a whole bag of charcoal. It was 18 dollars for a massive bag of pecan wood. The food was wicked delicious; George bought thick tender strip steaks for me to grill, corn, and pineapple. It was wicked awesome. I am never going back to charcoal. Then we went swimming. Again, awesome. My toe hurt really badly after, though. Got to my car at about 2 am then went mother’s day shopping with my sister at walmart and got super good gifts for both of my mothers.
It was a really good day, mostly, finished up around 4:30 am, then went home, played around a bit then slept till 2 in the evening. After that got sushi with my mom and fiddled with my toe then ate dinner with my dad and Mary Ellen. Very good day overall. Then went home and went to sleep very early. The large part of the day was spent trying not to mention how I found out that it was in fact my mom who gave my sister, a smoker now, the first cigarette she ever smoked. I was disillusioned and disappointed.
Anyway, I had intended to go to the doctor this morning but I was still so tired from the night before that I slept till 10. I feel really good now though, not tired at all.
My mom is a friend in need. I need to help her move, I need to make it to a minor emergency clinic on the way home. I need to get my car fixed, it’s leaking radiator fluid, not fun. I need my plants to stop dying. Joe needs a job. My sister needs gas money to get places.
It was a pretty good weekend, had a big party at George’s house on Saturday, he paid for a bbq, and I used logs for the first time ever. Real logs. Three of them cooked everything in my entire grill better than a whole bag of charcoal. It was 18 dollars for a massive bag of pecan wood. The food was wicked delicious; George bought thick tender strip steaks for me to grill, corn, and pineapple. It was wicked awesome. I am never going back to charcoal. Then we went swimming. Again, awesome. My toe hurt really badly after, though. Got to my car at about 2 am then went mother’s day shopping with my sister at walmart and got super good gifts for both of my mothers.
It was a really good day, mostly, finished up around 4:30 am, then went home, played around a bit then slept till 2 in the evening. After that got sushi with my mom and fiddled with my toe then ate dinner with my dad and Mary Ellen. Very good day overall. Then went home and went to sleep very early. The large part of the day was spent trying not to mention how I found out that it was in fact my mom who gave my sister, a smoker now, the first cigarette she ever smoked. I was disillusioned and disappointed.
Anyway, I had intended to go to the doctor this morning but I was still so tired from the night before that I slept till 10. I feel really good now though, not tired at all.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Games
Well, another E3 come and gone. It’s a very exciting time of year, with Call of Cthulhu, Oblivion, Dreamfall, Metroid Prime: Hunters, Worms 3d, Brain Age, Tetris DS, and a host of other games already out, with Heroes V, the best one yet, only around the corner and prepped for release on the 23, wow, with Dark Messiah of Might and Magic, Gothic 3(three near perfect RPGs in a single year!), Star Fox DS, the Wii, Zelda for the Wii, Red Steel, everything for the Wii in general, all the gaming goodness for the DS that I’ve barely touched on, and even MORE games for the PC… this year was already ranking high as years go, if even a quarter of the things that are due out this year make it, it will be definitively the best year in gaming yet. Heck, if you’re a PC gamer, go ahead and count Condemned: Criminal Origins as an amazing game for this year since it got ported last month. I almost want to cry.
Anyway. Life isn’t all fun and games but I’m really not in the mood to write about things that bother me lately. Just gets depressing to write about. There’s lots on my mind that just sort of pushes me one way or another and I have no idea what I want out of life, not even a vague clue. So many opportunities, I just worry that what’s going to happen is I’m going to miss ALL of them, and end up with nothing for lack of deciding on one good thing. I’m already well on my way to that.
Anyway. Life isn’t all fun and games but I’m really not in the mood to write about things that bother me lately. Just gets depressing to write about. There’s lots on my mind that just sort of pushes me one way or another and I have no idea what I want out of life, not even a vague clue. So many opportunities, I just worry that what’s going to happen is I’m going to miss ALL of them, and end up with nothing for lack of deciding on one good thing. I’m already well on my way to that.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Toes
Toes
The right side of my toe is so bad it sucks, but because it shrinks all the way down to normal except for the infected bit right over the nail I know it’s not a problem with a serious abscess or anything like that, so I’m not stressed about losing the toe or whatever, I just really need the nail to grow out. *le sigh*
Tonight I’m going to go eat sushi with Jake and some other people to celebrate the end of finals, that should be pretty kick ass.
I’d write more but I’ve been really busy and I don’t have the focus to do it right now, so I’ll probably post again later tonight.
The right side of my toe is so bad it sucks, but because it shrinks all the way down to normal except for the infected bit right over the nail I know it’s not a problem with a serious abscess or anything like that, so I’m not stressed about losing the toe or whatever, I just really need the nail to grow out. *le sigh*
Tonight I’m going to go eat sushi with Jake and some other people to celebrate the end of finals, that should be pretty kick ass.
I’d write more but I’ve been really busy and I don’t have the focus to do it right now, so I’ll probably post again later tonight.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Awakenings
Awakenings
Why do people feel more awake when they dream than they do when they’re awake?
Is it because the feeling of being awake is dulled by the sheer quantity of it, and that feeling, so rare to have in a dream, is so pronounced against a backdrop of complete un-wakefulness?
I somehow doubt it’s either one. It seems to me that there is a greater connection between our dreaming and the most awake moments we have ever experienced in our lives… those moments when we are completely aware of everything around as though each and every thing were alive and reaching for our attention. To be in this state of complete wakefulness, it is like a dream, and dreaming like being at our most awake. When we sleep, our brains process all the things that seem to just float by us without even knowing, that if we were to try to think about it, we wouldn’t even remember seeing… like the guy three seats down in a theater eating popcorn, what he was wearing, when he laughed. Our brains see these things, and they’re inside of us, EVERYTHING is inside of us, and it gets stored up like a great big battery for us to fall asleep and let it explode.
I want to walk through life as though I were completely awake in a way that all of my days are spent in awe and wonder at the vast infinite of everything.
How else could we be so unaware of the difference between sleep and awake?
Why do people feel more awake when they dream than they do when they’re awake?
Is it because the feeling of being awake is dulled by the sheer quantity of it, and that feeling, so rare to have in a dream, is so pronounced against a backdrop of complete un-wakefulness?
I somehow doubt it’s either one. It seems to me that there is a greater connection between our dreaming and the most awake moments we have ever experienced in our lives… those moments when we are completely aware of everything around as though each and every thing were alive and reaching for our attention. To be in this state of complete wakefulness, it is like a dream, and dreaming like being at our most awake. When we sleep, our brains process all the things that seem to just float by us without even knowing, that if we were to try to think about it, we wouldn’t even remember seeing… like the guy three seats down in a theater eating popcorn, what he was wearing, when he laughed. Our brains see these things, and they’re inside of us, EVERYTHING is inside of us, and it gets stored up like a great big battery for us to fall asleep and let it explode.
I want to walk through life as though I were completely awake in a way that all of my days are spent in awe and wonder at the vast infinite of everything.
How else could we be so unaware of the difference between sleep and awake?
Friday, May 05, 2006
Accomplishments
Accomplishments
The ninja pirate zombie robot head's single red eye comes to life, and looks around. It rolls up to a clockwork spine, and attaches itself to it at the neck. The resultant snakelike thing slithers over to a cheap toaster, and connects it to the bottom of the spine.
It then rolls around in pine tar, and attaches a couple of bones to its left side. It repeats this for the right side, and then attaches a clockwork claw to each arm.
Gears whir and bones grind as the thing picks up the Chest of the Bonerdagon and attaches it to the front of its spine. It then grabs a couple more wads of pine tar, and uses them to attach two spiked femurs to the toaster.
Fully constructed, the skeleton grabs a handful of disembodied brains, and casually munches on them as it sews a ninja outfit out of a couple of clockwork sheets.
Glancing at its new threads, it beeps approvingly. It loads its pockets with frigid ninja stars, teeny-tiny ninja stars, and a star throwing star, before grabbing an icy-hot katana with one hand and a blundarrrbuss with the other.
(image placeholder)
The ninja pirate zombie robot head's single red eye comes to life, and looks around. It rolls up to a clockwork spine, and attaches itself to it at the neck. The resultant snakelike thing slithers over to a cheap toaster, and connects it to the bottom of the spine.
It then rolls around in pine tar, and attaches a couple of bones to its left side. It repeats this for the right side, and then attaches a clockwork claw to each arm.
Gears whir and bones grind as the thing picks up the Chest of the Bonerdagon and attaches it to the front of its spine. It then grabs a couple more wads of pine tar, and uses them to attach two spiked femurs to the toaster.
Fully constructed, the skeleton grabs a handful of disembodied brains, and casually munches on them as it sews a ninja outfit out of a couple of clockwork sheets.
Glancing at its new threads, it beeps approvingly. It loads its pockets with frigid ninja stars, teeny-tiny ninja stars, and a star throwing star, before grabbing an icy-hot katana with one hand and a blundarrrbuss with the other.
(image placeholder)
A Story
A Story
“The Importance of Rules” sounds like the title of a wicked thriller novel. I don’t even know what it would be about. I imagine someone whose life is bound by rules and starts to crumble as their capacity to fill every rule breaks down. Like a 1984 type world, less so to a large degree, from the point of view of someone who feels that the world is the way it should be.
I can imagine their faith breaking down, their questions for the need of the rules becoming more driving as their life tears wildly away from the plan. What society has the right to govern so much of what anyone thinks and feels, to hold anyone to a standard of maintenance in life, the irony of trying to hold humans to a more and more perfect standard.
I want to write that story.
“The Importance of Rules” sounds like the title of a wicked thriller novel. I don’t even know what it would be about. I imagine someone whose life is bound by rules and starts to crumble as their capacity to fill every rule breaks down. Like a 1984 type world, less so to a large degree, from the point of view of someone who feels that the world is the way it should be.
I can imagine their faith breaking down, their questions for the need of the rules becoming more driving as their life tears wildly away from the plan. What society has the right to govern so much of what anyone thinks and feels, to hold anyone to a standard of maintenance in life, the irony of trying to hold humans to a more and more perfect standard.
I want to write that story.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Relaxed
Relaxed
It’s a really nice day, don’t know what else to say other than that. It was pretty cool outside when I got out of my room. I’ve been reading V for Vendetta every now and then, and so far it is very awesome, there are parts that aren’t as good as the movie, and there are parts where the graphic novel is better. I’d say it’s one of those fight club things where they just genuinely had a ton of respect when they made it even if they didn’t tote it as a selling point.I bought Heroes of Might and Magic V today online from the Ubisoft store for 64 total after tax, free 2 day shipping. I’ll get it before the game shops down here even think to stock it. I HATE gaming stores down here.
Anywho.. I got the limited edition… comes with Heroes III and IV on the same DVD as the main game, and a soundtrack CD. I love video game soundtracks. I so want the music from the original Myst still, and the Mechwarrior 2 soundtrack is some of the best music ever!
It’s a really nice day, don’t know what else to say other than that. It was pretty cool outside when I got out of my room. I’ve been reading V for Vendetta every now and then, and so far it is very awesome, there are parts that aren’t as good as the movie, and there are parts where the graphic novel is better. I’d say it’s one of those fight club things where they just genuinely had a ton of respect when they made it even if they didn’t tote it as a selling point.I bought Heroes of Might and Magic V today online from the Ubisoft store for 64 total after tax, free 2 day shipping. I’ll get it before the game shops down here even think to stock it. I HATE gaming stores down here.
Anywho.. I got the limited edition… comes with Heroes III and IV on the same DVD as the main game, and a soundtrack CD. I love video game soundtracks. I so want the music from the original Myst still, and the Mechwarrior 2 soundtrack is some of the best music ever!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Heroes of Might and Magic V free high quality mini web game
The makers of Heroes V have also made this incredible web based strategy game. It's deep, involving, and it has no turn limit, unlike most other web based games. As if actually making a Heroes of Might and Magic game that really brings back the "one more turn" feel and quality of part I and II, they have gone and done this.
read more | digg story
read more | digg story
Friday, April 21, 2006
Pre-Orders are Killing Gaming for Me
Pre-Orders are Killing Gaming for Me
Dreamfall: Longest Journey 2 has been out for the better part of the week now. No EB, Gamestop, or Gamecrazy near me has one for me to buy. No pre-order deal was offered, so I find myself unwilling to trade cash for nothing since I know there's no way the demand is so high that I can't get one for somewhere. Walmart will have it in half a week, but I know that the major game retailers won't ever have it unless it's pre-ordered.What is happening here when the needs of the hardcore gamer are better served by Walmart or Best Buy? It is extremely maddening to be punished for not pre-ordering games for which the demand is not nearly high enough to warrant paying the cash just to know it will be there waiting for me. I would rather buy it online, if they don't have the game I want, when I want it, I will go buy. Here is the part that really stings, the one time in the last several years where there was an actual need to pre-order due to scarcity, the XBOX 360, it wasn't enough to pre-order. No one got them anyway. That is the major flaw in the system, that is what really tears the concept of pre-ordering. It guarantees sales of sub par products prior to review and release, allows companies like Gamestop, EB Games, and Gamecrazy to pocket money with nothing in return at all because of their blackmail practice of not carrying games that are not pre-ordered, and fails to genuinely protect about the sort of actual product shortage that it was initially put in place because of.It is infuriating to be so ill treated by the industry I have invested so much time and money into. It is infuriating not to be able to go and buy the games that I want, games that I have been waiting for. It is infuriating to be left to order my games online when I want them, paying extra to have them shipped to me, and all of this because so many people are so happy to buy games before they come out, more often than not investing in games that are becoming increasingly sub par. Why? Because they get all their sales before the game is released based on the hype of the industry builds, with press refusing to show anything but the good of a game before release.With more and more game sales pressured to be made prior to release and review, accountability falls harder and harder onto previews to give bad impressions to let gamers know what they're getting before both games and gaming press become irrelevant because of a stung consumer base.
Dreamfall: Longest Journey 2 has been out for the better part of the week now. No EB, Gamestop, or Gamecrazy near me has one for me to buy. No pre-order deal was offered, so I find myself unwilling to trade cash for nothing since I know there's no way the demand is so high that I can't get one for somewhere. Walmart will have it in half a week, but I know that the major game retailers won't ever have it unless it's pre-ordered.What is happening here when the needs of the hardcore gamer are better served by Walmart or Best Buy? It is extremely maddening to be punished for not pre-ordering games for which the demand is not nearly high enough to warrant paying the cash just to know it will be there waiting for me. I would rather buy it online, if they don't have the game I want, when I want it, I will go buy. Here is the part that really stings, the one time in the last several years where there was an actual need to pre-order due to scarcity, the XBOX 360, it wasn't enough to pre-order. No one got them anyway. That is the major flaw in the system, that is what really tears the concept of pre-ordering. It guarantees sales of sub par products prior to review and release, allows companies like Gamestop, EB Games, and Gamecrazy to pocket money with nothing in return at all because of their blackmail practice of not carrying games that are not pre-ordered, and fails to genuinely protect about the sort of actual product shortage that it was initially put in place because of.It is infuriating to be so ill treated by the industry I have invested so much time and money into. It is infuriating not to be able to go and buy the games that I want, games that I have been waiting for. It is infuriating to be left to order my games online when I want them, paying extra to have them shipped to me, and all of this because so many people are so happy to buy games before they come out, more often than not investing in games that are becoming increasingly sub par. Why? Because they get all their sales before the game is released based on the hype of the industry builds, with press refusing to show anything but the good of a game before release.With more and more game sales pressured to be made prior to release and review, accountability falls harder and harder onto previews to give bad impressions to let gamers know what they're getting before both games and gaming press become irrelevant because of a stung consumer base.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Talking
Talking
There’s not a lot of people I feel really comfortable talking to right now, I imagine I desire to crawl inside of a tiny shell where no one can talk to me at all in any way shape or fashion. Almost everyone in my life right now has an issue with me that I dread looking them in the eyes, knowing that it’s on their mind and that it is somehow my fault that it’s there. Joe is homeless, and I haven’t been able to do anything about it, Pattie and I broke up, and now she’s doing things like writing to Christ, telling him he never has to talk to her again. Marcia, Tara, and Mike all have this issue with the lease and house going, and that is a large stress in my life. That’s why I’m posting here. I think I’m going to give up my livejournal. That’s where I went for my room mates, I’ll still go there to look at Pattie’s blog, and to read my friends blogs, but for the most part, I don’t want to share with too many people.
I know Pattie will read this. I like that she reads this blog, I like that she knows my thoughts; she’s one of my best friends in the world. Chris might read this too. It seems that yesterday started out okay and then got very sad very fast. Maybe I was wrong in my decision and what I did. I didn’t premeditate it, it just sort of felt like the right thing to do about the issues that were being talked about. My brain is wrapping around itself full of questions and bothersome troubles.
I think that after Pattie reads this, she’s going to avoid me for the rest of the day, which is sad because this is my way of telling her that no matter what, I still want to spend the day talking to her. Things change though, and eventually she’s going to stop being comfortable with me, and she’ll stop talking to me, like so many people do, and ultimately move on.
Change is scary. Especially quarters.
I haven’t written in a while. It’s funny how I’ve done the least writing in times when the most has happened. Life has changed dramatically in the past week or so and it’s really emotional for me to talk about. Mike left for NJ on Monday morning and was really busy before that so little was seen of him. Won’t see him very much ever again. Maybe 3 times a year, tops.
Watching a cooking show right now where a guy made ice cream by taking the ingredients and his hand cranked ice cream maker to a glacier and hacking ice right out of the landscape. After he made it he said, “This is a rather complicated way of making ice cream, you can use a machine if you don’t have a hand cranked maker, and certainly if you don’t have a glacier handy you can use it right out of the freezer, but I like it better this way.”
That is funny to me… glacier made ice cream.
Sorry, that just seemed so immediate and wanted to write it before I forgot it before I went on with the heavy stuff.
So, I’m confused. I’m also pretty lonely. Sad is an excellent adjective for parts of how I feel, and incomplete as well. I’m really tired of writing all of this, even though it’s still fairly short and not a complete compilation of my feelings.
I want to write every day again. Maybe that will help me feel better.
There’s not a lot of people I feel really comfortable talking to right now, I imagine I desire to crawl inside of a tiny shell where no one can talk to me at all in any way shape or fashion. Almost everyone in my life right now has an issue with me that I dread looking them in the eyes, knowing that it’s on their mind and that it is somehow my fault that it’s there. Joe is homeless, and I haven’t been able to do anything about it, Pattie and I broke up, and now she’s doing things like writing to Christ, telling him he never has to talk to her again. Marcia, Tara, and Mike all have this issue with the lease and house going, and that is a large stress in my life. That’s why I’m posting here. I think I’m going to give up my livejournal. That’s where I went for my room mates, I’ll still go there to look at Pattie’s blog, and to read my friends blogs, but for the most part, I don’t want to share with too many people.
I know Pattie will read this. I like that she reads this blog, I like that she knows my thoughts; she’s one of my best friends in the world. Chris might read this too. It seems that yesterday started out okay and then got very sad very fast. Maybe I was wrong in my decision and what I did. I didn’t premeditate it, it just sort of felt like the right thing to do about the issues that were being talked about. My brain is wrapping around itself full of questions and bothersome troubles.
I think that after Pattie reads this, she’s going to avoid me for the rest of the day, which is sad because this is my way of telling her that no matter what, I still want to spend the day talking to her. Things change though, and eventually she’s going to stop being comfortable with me, and she’ll stop talking to me, like so many people do, and ultimately move on.
Change is scary. Especially quarters.
I haven’t written in a while. It’s funny how I’ve done the least writing in times when the most has happened. Life has changed dramatically in the past week or so and it’s really emotional for me to talk about. Mike left for NJ on Monday morning and was really busy before that so little was seen of him. Won’t see him very much ever again. Maybe 3 times a year, tops.
Watching a cooking show right now where a guy made ice cream by taking the ingredients and his hand cranked ice cream maker to a glacier and hacking ice right out of the landscape. After he made it he said, “This is a rather complicated way of making ice cream, you can use a machine if you don’t have a hand cranked maker, and certainly if you don’t have a glacier handy you can use it right out of the freezer, but I like it better this way.”
That is funny to me… glacier made ice cream.
Sorry, that just seemed so immediate and wanted to write it before I forgot it before I went on with the heavy stuff.
So, I’m confused. I’m also pretty lonely. Sad is an excellent adjective for parts of how I feel, and incomplete as well. I’m really tired of writing all of this, even though it’s still fairly short and not a complete compilation of my feelings.
I want to write every day again. Maybe that will help me feel better.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
How Diablo Killed the RPG
How Diablo Killed the RPG
About fifteen years ago adventure games were king. The many variety of quests available from Lucasarts and Sierra, among many others, ruled the day. Their detailed stories, animated characters and environments were rich and involving. Adventure games mixed character, and narrative that has rarely been matched by any other genre, as well as a level of character design and originality that drew in audiences and brought them to satisfying conclusions.
Here, now, the stage is set for the largest commercial success of its time, Myst, a record breaking game. Myst is compelling, it has beautiful dreamy styles that are comforting and are accompanied by ambient music that draws players in. Few games were made with so few resources, and so small a team, and more importantly, were of such a remarkable commercial success.
Forays into the adventure game genre began to mimic Myst, along with its divergences that separated it from traditional games. The slow disappearance of the genre followed shortly after. Without the sub par work of startup companies, and the mimicking work they provided, the popularity seemed to dwindle even more. Ultimately the market appeared, falsely, to be unable to support the genre any longer.
In a final step, even the largest and most successful producers of adventure games simply ceased producing them, canceling one at a time, until no more were being made on any level. A few still get made, one every few years, some even okay, but Myst destroyed the adventure game.
Like adventures, RPG games are loaded with difficulties. Branching endings take time to write and program, branching and significant dialog takes real artistic and literary investment and involvement. Creating open ended, yet functional, systems is consuming work that requires background, experience, or licenses. The more options you give the player, the more difficult to make the game, in its entirety.
However, despite these realities, the genre flourished. Companies like Black Isle lead the way with groundbreaking games that pushed the boundaries. Hundreds of companies followed, cloning the successful products. They failed, like they always do, but they drive the market share. At this point, along comes Diablo, a new approach that involved less effort in every conceivable point in development. While maintaining superficial similarities, Diablo offered simplified mechanics, a linear and branchless story with no decision-making or player freedom, as well as simplified dialog.
After that there is only the matter of drawing lines with a crayon. Steady decrease in RPG releases over the years, large numbers of Diablo clones at first, and then a slow following decline when they don’t sell at all due to poor quality and direct relation to a genre so tied to a single game that comparison is inescapable. When the time comes, almost nothing is left but the rare releases over time, entire years passing without so much as a single entry into the genre.
That, folks, is how Diablo killed the RPG.
About fifteen years ago adventure games were king. The many variety of quests available from Lucasarts and Sierra, among many others, ruled the day. Their detailed stories, animated characters and environments were rich and involving. Adventure games mixed character, and narrative that has rarely been matched by any other genre, as well as a level of character design and originality that drew in audiences and brought them to satisfying conclusions.
Here, now, the stage is set for the largest commercial success of its time, Myst, a record breaking game. Myst is compelling, it has beautiful dreamy styles that are comforting and are accompanied by ambient music that draws players in. Few games were made with so few resources, and so small a team, and more importantly, were of such a remarkable commercial success.
Forays into the adventure game genre began to mimic Myst, along with its divergences that separated it from traditional games. The slow disappearance of the genre followed shortly after. Without the sub par work of startup companies, and the mimicking work they provided, the popularity seemed to dwindle even more. Ultimately the market appeared, falsely, to be unable to support the genre any longer.
In a final step, even the largest and most successful producers of adventure games simply ceased producing them, canceling one at a time, until no more were being made on any level. A few still get made, one every few years, some even okay, but Myst destroyed the adventure game.
Like adventures, RPG games are loaded with difficulties. Branching endings take time to write and program, branching and significant dialog takes real artistic and literary investment and involvement. Creating open ended, yet functional, systems is consuming work that requires background, experience, or licenses. The more options you give the player, the more difficult to make the game, in its entirety.
However, despite these realities, the genre flourished. Companies like Black Isle lead the way with groundbreaking games that pushed the boundaries. Hundreds of companies followed, cloning the successful products. They failed, like they always do, but they drive the market share. At this point, along comes Diablo, a new approach that involved less effort in every conceivable point in development. While maintaining superficial similarities, Diablo offered simplified mechanics, a linear and branchless story with no decision-making or player freedom, as well as simplified dialog.
After that there is only the matter of drawing lines with a crayon. Steady decrease in RPG releases over the years, large numbers of Diablo clones at first, and then a slow following decline when they don’t sell at all due to poor quality and direct relation to a genre so tied to a single game that comparison is inescapable. When the time comes, almost nothing is left but the rare releases over time, entire years passing without so much as a single entry into the genre.
That, folks, is how Diablo killed the RPG.
Monday, April 10, 2006
The Serendipitous
The Serendipitous
“What are you doing here?”
“I don’t know.”
“How did you get here?”
“I found it on accident.”
“You’ll probably die here.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m serendipitous. I suffer from an extreme case of life altering luck.”
“Can you dodge bullets?”
“I believe they dodge me as long as I don’t walk in front of them, but then, maybe they’d still miss if I did.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Don’t believe in luck?”
“No.”
“Maybe you should.”
“How’s it work?”
“I don’t know, I just believe.”
“What do you believe?”
“I believe that someone has a chance to hit every lucky seven they ever throw for in their entire life, just as much as someone has a chance to crap out on the first throw every time they try. I always throw sevens…I throw them hard… I put my life and belief behind it…”
“That’s impossible.””No, just very, very unlikely.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I don’t know.”
“How did you get here?”
“I found it on accident.”
“You’ll probably die here.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m serendipitous. I suffer from an extreme case of life altering luck.”
“Can you dodge bullets?”
“I believe they dodge me as long as I don’t walk in front of them, but then, maybe they’d still miss if I did.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Don’t believe in luck?”
“No.”
“Maybe you should.”
“How’s it work?”
“I don’t know, I just believe.”
“What do you believe?”
“I believe that someone has a chance to hit every lucky seven they ever throw for in their entire life, just as much as someone has a chance to crap out on the first throw every time they try. I always throw sevens…I throw them hard… I put my life and belief behind it…”
“That’s impossible.””No, just very, very unlikely.”
Monday, March 20, 2006
Spring Break Highlights
It has been an extremely long, good, fun, tragic, emotional, tiring weekend. Really, any adjective that you can think of can somehow be applied to the last four days of my mild life. On Wednesday I planted my hanging tomato garden, 4 types of tomatoes, two types of basil, orange habanero, and my lemon thyme in it. If the basil fails to sprout, the only thing that was not a seedling when I planted it, I’m going to replace it with strawberries. Strawberries and habaneros, that’s a nice combination. The most important thing I did on Thursday and Friday was to see V for Vendetta both days.
“This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-Ã -vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”
That quote from the beginning pretty much sums up the entire movie. It’s not 100% accurate, there are some bits from that monologue that are missing from the film. It’s a wonderful movie. When we saw it Friday night we went and ate at IHOP afterwards and talked for about an hour or two after. I didn’t even get home till 4 in the morning from dropping the last friend off. I did all my sleeping for the whole weekend on Saturday morning.
V is the type of movie that you can see and then really TALK about, and that’s incredibly rare. We discussed issues, and feelings, and the direction of the world, how safe we felt and whether we though V was a good guy or a bad guy. We talked for hours about the smaller aspects, the reasoning behind the events and the subtleties. It was awesome. I want to see the movie again.
Saturday afternoon started with a phone call from my sister, filled with tears telling me that she had to move out of her boyfriend’s house. She quit her job to move in with him and he let her do that while he was thinking of going back to his old girlfriend. Then, he told her to move out by Sunday on Saturday. I could kick his ass.
There was nothing we could do about it on Saturday, but I did make plans to drive up there on Sunday with my dad.
The party we planned for Saturday went off without a hitch, it was awesome, and we played tons of games on the wall with the projector. It was totally sweet. I made the best Margaritas ever. Mike ordered pizza, and everyone was there, hanging out and playing games. Things broke up about midnight so that Mike and I could go to sleep, he had church in the morning and I was leaving my dad’s house for Dallas at eight. I still couldn’t sleep, I just couldn’t shut down my brain; it was scary. I’d never driven so far in my life.
So I got up at 7 and got ready, then I took Joe with me, he’d been hanging out all weekend, and I didn’t have a radio, my dad said he might ride with my sister on the way back, so I figured he could talk to me to keep me awake. We got back right around 8 in the evening, lots of adventures, but it’s really hard to keep it all straight and talk about it, mostly, it was long, and tiring, and I was feeling sick from not sleeping. I dropped Joe off and went home to sleep as soon as I could. I skipped school this morning because I was tired and it was raining. I didn’t feel like walking through the rain to my class. I would have done it any day but after a day like Sunday with 40 hours of no sleep.
I have some images I’ll post later from something my dad found and gave back to me.
“This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-Ã -vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”
That quote from the beginning pretty much sums up the entire movie. It’s not 100% accurate, there are some bits from that monologue that are missing from the film. It’s a wonderful movie. When we saw it Friday night we went and ate at IHOP afterwards and talked for about an hour or two after. I didn’t even get home till 4 in the morning from dropping the last friend off. I did all my sleeping for the whole weekend on Saturday morning.
V is the type of movie that you can see and then really TALK about, and that’s incredibly rare. We discussed issues, and feelings, and the direction of the world, how safe we felt and whether we though V was a good guy or a bad guy. We talked for hours about the smaller aspects, the reasoning behind the events and the subtleties. It was awesome. I want to see the movie again.
Saturday afternoon started with a phone call from my sister, filled with tears telling me that she had to move out of her boyfriend’s house. She quit her job to move in with him and he let her do that while he was thinking of going back to his old girlfriend. Then, he told her to move out by Sunday on Saturday. I could kick his ass.
There was nothing we could do about it on Saturday, but I did make plans to drive up there on Sunday with my dad.
The party we planned for Saturday went off without a hitch, it was awesome, and we played tons of games on the wall with the projector. It was totally sweet. I made the best Margaritas ever. Mike ordered pizza, and everyone was there, hanging out and playing games. Things broke up about midnight so that Mike and I could go to sleep, he had church in the morning and I was leaving my dad’s house for Dallas at eight. I still couldn’t sleep, I just couldn’t shut down my brain; it was scary. I’d never driven so far in my life.
So I got up at 7 and got ready, then I took Joe with me, he’d been hanging out all weekend, and I didn’t have a radio, my dad said he might ride with my sister on the way back, so I figured he could talk to me to keep me awake. We got back right around 8 in the evening, lots of adventures, but it’s really hard to keep it all straight and talk about it, mostly, it was long, and tiring, and I was feeling sick from not sleeping. I dropped Joe off and went home to sleep as soon as I could. I skipped school this morning because I was tired and it was raining. I didn’t feel like walking through the rain to my class. I would have done it any day but after a day like Sunday with 40 hours of no sleep.
I have some images I’ll post later from something my dad found and gave back to me.
Height of Spring Break
It has been an extremely long, good, fun, tragic, emotional, tiring weekend. Really, any adjective that you can think of can somehow be applied to the last four days of my mild life. On Wednesday I planted my hanging tomato garden, 4 types of tomatoes, two types of basil, orange habanero, and my lemon thyme in it. If the basil fails to sprout, the only thing that was not a seedling when I planted it, I’m going to replace it with strawberries. Strawberries and habaneros, that’s a nice combination. The most important thing I did on Thursday and Friday was to see V for Vendetta both days.
“This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-Ã -vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”
That quote from the beginning pretty much sums up the entire movie. It’s not 100% accurate, there are some bits from that monologue that are missing from the film. It’s a wonderful movie. When we saw it Friday night we went and ate at IHOP afterwards and talked for about an hour or two after. I didn’t even get home till 4 in the morning from dropping the last friend off. I did all my sleeping for the whole weekend on Saturday morning.
V is the type of movie that you can see and then really TALK about, and that’s incredibly rare. We discussed issues, and feelings, and the direction of the world, how safe we felt and whether we though V was a good guy or a bad guy. We talked for hours about the smaller aspects, the reasoning behind the events and the subtleties. It was awesome. I want to see the movie again.
Saturday afternoon started with a phone call from my sister, filled with tears telling me that she had to move out of her boyfriend’s house. She quit her job to move in with him and he let her do that while he was thinking of going back to his old girlfriend. Then, he told her to move out by Sunday on Saturday. I could kick his ass.
There was nothing we could do about it on Saturday, but I did make plans to drive up there on Sunday with my dad.
The party we planned for Saturday went off without a hitch, it was awesome, and we played tons of games on the wall with the projector. It was totally sweet. I made the best Margaritas ever. Mike ordered pizza, and everyone was there, hanging out and playing games. Things broke up about midnight so that Mike and I could go to sleep, he had church in the morning and I was leaving my dad’s house for Dallas at eight. I still couldn’t sleep, I just couldn’t shut down my brain; it was scary. I’d never driven so far in my life.
So I got up at 7 and got ready, then I took Joe with me, he’d been hanging out all weekend, and I didn’t have a radio, my dad said he might ride with my sister on the way back, so I figured he could talk to me to keep me awake. We got back right around 8 in the evening, lots of adventures, but it’s really hard to keep it all straight and talk about it, mostly, it was long, and tiring, and I was feeling sick from not sleeping. I dropped Joe off and went home to sleep as soon as I could. I skipped school this morning because I was tired and it was raining. I didn’t feel like walking through the rain to my class. I would have done it any day but after a day like Sunday with 40 hours of no sleep.
I have some images I’ll post later from something my dad found and gave back to me.
“This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-Ã -vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”
That quote from the beginning pretty much sums up the entire movie. It’s not 100% accurate, there are some bits from that monologue that are missing from the film. It’s a wonderful movie. When we saw it Friday night we went and ate at IHOP afterwards and talked for about an hour or two after. I didn’t even get home till 4 in the morning from dropping the last friend off. I did all my sleeping for the whole weekend on Saturday morning.
V is the type of movie that you can see and then really TALK about, and that’s incredibly rare. We discussed issues, and feelings, and the direction of the world, how safe we felt and whether we though V was a good guy or a bad guy. We talked for hours about the smaller aspects, the reasoning behind the events and the subtleties. It was awesome. I want to see the movie again.
Saturday afternoon started with a phone call from my sister, filled with tears telling me that she had to move out of her boyfriend’s house. She quit her job to move in with him and he let her do that while he was thinking of going back to his old girlfriend. Then, he told her to move out by Sunday on Saturday. I could kick his ass.
There was nothing we could do about it on Saturday, but I did make plans to drive up there on Sunday with my dad.
The party we planned for Saturday went off without a hitch, it was awesome, and we played tons of games on the wall with the projector. It was totally sweet. I made the best Margaritas ever. Mike ordered pizza, and everyone was there, hanging out and playing games. Things broke up about midnight so that Mike and I could go to sleep, he had church in the morning and I was leaving my dad’s house for Dallas at eight. I still couldn’t sleep, I just couldn’t shut down my brain; it was scary. I’d never driven so far in my life.
So I got up at 7 and got ready, then I took Joe with me, he’d been hanging out all weekend, and I didn’t have a radio, my dad said he might ride with my sister on the way back, so I figured he could talk to me to keep me awake. We got back right around 8 in the evening, lots of adventures, but it’s really hard to keep it all straight and talk about it, mostly, it was long, and tiring, and I was feeling sick from not sleeping. I dropped Joe off and went home to sleep as soon as I could. I skipped school this morning because I was tired and it was raining. I didn’t feel like walking through the rain to my class. I would have done it any day but after a day like Sunday with 40 hours of no sleep.
I have some images I’ll post later from something my dad found and gave back to me.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Vacation
I don’t really like doing nothing at all, I didn’t do NOTHING, I mean, I did a ton of work in Metal Slug Advance. I’ve completed 4 of the 5 missions with gold complete status, and I’ve gotten really good at kicking the final baddy’s buttocks. I also listened to a few totally new songs and played urban dead, and the real productive thing I did was work on Red Horizon, which is coming out very nicely.
My mom is coming over to do laundry again, they’re starting work on fixing her house soon, so happy days there. I got Thursday and Friday off! Huzzah! Now… I don’t want to go to Oklahoma, I’d really like to stay here and plant plants and roleplay on Thursday, watch V for Vendetta on Friday, work in the yard on Saturday, and roleplay on Sunday evening. I really don’t like the thought of spending all that time driving, waiting for mom to do a job interview, then spending little time with Grandma and Grandpa and then a little time with them in church, then leaving and getting back late on Sunday, missing the game, and having to get up early for school the next day. I just don’t feel like it.
My mom is coming over to do laundry again, they’re starting work on fixing her house soon, so happy days there. I got Thursday and Friday off! Huzzah! Now… I don’t want to go to Oklahoma, I’d really like to stay here and plant plants and roleplay on Thursday, watch V for Vendetta on Friday, work in the yard on Saturday, and roleplay on Sunday evening. I really don’t like the thought of spending all that time driving, waiting for mom to do a job interview, then spending little time with Grandma and Grandpa and then a little time with them in church, then leaving and getting back late on Sunday, missing the game, and having to get up early for school the next day. I just don’t feel like it.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Weekend!
This weekend was super-awesome and full. On Friday I had my test in class, and that went okay, plus something else, I know something else really important happened on Friday, but I can’t remember what it was. Oh, now I do. I had dinner with my mom at that Lebanese restaurant, which was really interesting. They had a belly dancer, this time, and it wasn’t what I expected belly dancing to be. I thought the hand gestures were really interesting and essential to it. Her smile was REALLY creepy. Like a doll, or something, it was just so frozen and big.
Anywho, so, I did manage to get plans together for a decent sized grill on Saturday, and that went really well. The day started kind of late, I played F.E.A.R. until 3 in the afternoon, which was enough time to beat the game. The whole time I had trouble getting a hold of mom, who promised to bring some stuff for the bbq, but then never called back, she eventually did bring something, but, she brought it too late to use because so much other food was done. It’s okay though. Jackson, Justin, Jake, John, Kevin, Russell, Tim, Mike, Cymeron, and my mom showed up. The food came out really, really well, and a GREAT time was had by all, even more than usual. John’s xbox kept Cymeron happy, and my mom watched Firefly on the TV, and everyone else played various games and just chatted all night. There were smoked hamburgers, awesome jalapeno poppers, and divine baked beans as well as lamb ribs (not nearly as good as the last set). I learned a few new things about the quality of smoke because some of the smoke was acrid because of the way I accidentally smothered the fire initially, I’d heard about it before but always thought, since I never experienced it, that I just wasn’t good enough to taste it. Now that I’ve actually made the mistake I know that I just wasn’t making it before. You can tell, it’s a dark stingy taste; it got into some of the onions.
Jackson got some of us playing trade wars and it ended up being very cool. I think it would be very awesome to play online over OpenRPG. All you’d have to do is scan the board in and the pieces and you could use the map screen to play any board game, this one would be very cool to use like that because of how simple it is. Anyhow, the night went late, then I fell asleep after playing online some and cleaning up. The next day started just as late and all I did was beat Metal Slug Advance, eat lunch at IHOP with my mom, and play RPG with John… met the new player and discussed his character and he will be able to play next game session.
And that takes me up to today… I finally asked for some time off, I may get Thursday and Friday off, and that will be cool, I just don’t want to travel out of town.
Anywho, so, I did manage to get plans together for a decent sized grill on Saturday, and that went really well. The day started kind of late, I played F.E.A.R. until 3 in the afternoon, which was enough time to beat the game. The whole time I had trouble getting a hold of mom, who promised to bring some stuff for the bbq, but then never called back, she eventually did bring something, but, she brought it too late to use because so much other food was done. It’s okay though. Jackson, Justin, Jake, John, Kevin, Russell, Tim, Mike, Cymeron, and my mom showed up. The food came out really, really well, and a GREAT time was had by all, even more than usual. John’s xbox kept Cymeron happy, and my mom watched Firefly on the TV, and everyone else played various games and just chatted all night. There were smoked hamburgers, awesome jalapeno poppers, and divine baked beans as well as lamb ribs (not nearly as good as the last set). I learned a few new things about the quality of smoke because some of the smoke was acrid because of the way I accidentally smothered the fire initially, I’d heard about it before but always thought, since I never experienced it, that I just wasn’t good enough to taste it. Now that I’ve actually made the mistake I know that I just wasn’t making it before. You can tell, it’s a dark stingy taste; it got into some of the onions.
Jackson got some of us playing trade wars and it ended up being very cool. I think it would be very awesome to play online over OpenRPG. All you’d have to do is scan the board in and the pieces and you could use the map screen to play any board game, this one would be very cool to use like that because of how simple it is. Anyhow, the night went late, then I fell asleep after playing online some and cleaning up. The next day started just as late and all I did was beat Metal Slug Advance, eat lunch at IHOP with my mom, and play RPG with John… met the new player and discussed his character and he will be able to play next game session.
And that takes me up to today… I finally asked for some time off, I may get Thursday and Friday off, and that will be cool, I just don’t want to travel out of town.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Random Sadness
I feel really alone in my new house. It’s like… I don’t even know Tara, and Marcia is never there, and Mike is going away soon. That’s not fun.
Rodeo Cook Off in two weeks though! Yay!!
Rodeo Cook Off in two weeks though! Yay!!
Friday, February 03, 2006
Matador
I kindof want to see the Matador. It looks like a pretty amusing movie. Though, frankly, there’s no movie that I REALLY want to see till V for Vendetta comes out in mid March this year. Same with games. There aren’t any that I want, not till Call of Cthulhu comes out, but that’s starting to look like it will never be on PC. Makes me want to go kick some developers in their shins for putting it on Xbox first. Anyway, it’s a really beautiful day out, nice and sunny, but it’s making me sleepy.
I’m also watching dilbert, which is cool. Zac might hang out tonight.
I’m also watching dilbert, which is cool. Zac might hang out tonight.
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