I'm Having Christmas at George Clooney's House

This is probably the most beautiful Christmas tree I've ever seen for sale. I truly wish I had one for a special corner in my room.



It's that beautiful time of year. Shame I've been stuffed up for most of it so far. Sucks that the weather change is taking all season to get here at the last moment, but I guess that's Texas for you.

I learned how to play Oh Christmas Tree, and Little Drummer Boy on guitar. I love learning to play carols on my guitar.. playing them slow, listening to them like half forgotten memories and beautiful briefly remembered dreams.

I've been celebrating with egg nogg, and hot chocolate, and I even made some wassail already this season, extra warm and soothing. A good hot happy beverage is always important when contemplating the mixed blessings of Christmas commercialism and the machine that somehow generates togetherness via large dollar amounts. That and they just make you feel warm inside on cold nights with a blanket and the only lights on in the house are the christmas tree lights while the cats hide in the branches.

Have You Been Half Asleep...

I didn't think I was going to be able to get a Christmas Tree this year, things have been pretty tight because of medical bills. Matt's brother was getting a new tree this year and so this one was available for me. It is a wonderful tree, and I am proud to have it. The ornaments came from Matt's family, they are glass ornaments that they bought while they were living in Germany. It is a good year, and it is a good life.

I've been spending some more time over at my dad's house. Enjoy the product of our labors:

Behold, the ribs are finished and we have begun planking the ship! One on each half so far, and more to follow till she has a beautiful wooden hull! Well.. a wooden hull! Well... a glue hull with some wood flecks in it! The ratio of glue to wood really remains to be seen. Guess we'll know after a few more planks are attached.

Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side
Rainbow's are visions
They're only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide
So we've been told and some chose to
Believe it
But I know they're wrong wait and see

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Thank you Pandora for making holiday music for my living room easy.
Thank you Netflix for putting so many holiday specials in one place.

It's going to be a Merry Christmas.

Cranberry Sauce, It's not just for Thanksgiving Anymore

It's criminal.. I had never made home made cranberry sauce before. I had no idea how delicious it could be. Crazy and sweet and tangy and robust and just downright amazingly delicious. And easy.

12oz Cranberries
1 1/2c Sugar
1tsp Allspice
11oz Can of Mandarin Oranges
1c chopped pecans
1/4c Port wine

Mix all the ingredients except the port wine together in a sauce pan and cook at medium low heat till all the cranberries have burst in the sauce. More sugar can be added for a sweeter sauce, less for a tarter sauce, though 1 1/2c will be pretty tart, so more sugar is a little more likely. Once the berries have popped, remove from heat, stir in the Port, and chill till ready to serve.

It was one of the real highs of my thanksgiving. I really wanted to share it.



I hate people. Especially friends. Know what a friend is?

A friend is someone who puts a portal over an acid pit and then waits till you're standing still on a portalable surface to put the other portal under your feet and drop you to your death. That's what a friend is.

Fuck friends.

Sometimes...

Sometimes... I think about contacting complete strangers via instant messenger in the exact method and style of porn spam bots. Copy and pasting their dialog, and then passing it on, refusing to respond to people.

I was never really meant to pass a turing test, so it really seems like a waste to even try.

Uploading Life.

Lions. Always on topic.

Kittens that will sleep on your lap: See Lions.

A little bit of this years thanksgiving. I will never ever ever eat cranberry sauce out of a can again. It's cheap, easy, and about a million times more delicious. I spent the early afternoon at my dad's house, my grandparents were there, my aunt Karen, and even my sister showed up. My step brother was there, and even brought his daughter. I showed off some origami to her and made her a tiny rose.

I was honestly surprised that I remembered so precisely how to make the rose.. it's been a long long time since I made one. But it was really cool and I plan on making more in the future. My step brother brought 2 of the coveted butterscotch pies.. there was much joy. After dinner at dad's house I went home and finished cooking dinner for my mom, and zac, and my sister came over to join us. Kayla was out with her family.

It was really messed up, though, later that night we found out that Zac's parents escaped their home burning down. Even if insurance pays everything that it was all worth, which is unlikely, it will never replace the photos and memories.

After that, though, my sister got both Zac and I invites to play in the weekend long Star Wars The Old Republic beta.. which we did all weekend when not busy with family.

I spent a lot of time at dad's house later working more on my boat. So much work, but it is really shaping up to be very beautiful.

This morning I went to pick up my new guitar. My new beautiful baby. So pretty, and she sounds like a dream. She is the first new guitar I picked out for all the features I wanted, and Scott bought her for me. One of the most generous gifts ever, and it really felt good after the crappy months and debts I had over my broken arm. That and a small computer upgrade are two of the things that those debts stopped me from being able to do.

Anyway, the replacement after the dud I had last time arrived at Guitar Center... last wednesday. I would have known that if I'd bothered to call or something instead of just assuming monday. I could have had her and shown her off to all my family. Oh, well. C'est la vi. After I picked her up, I swung by Larry's Hobbies on the way home because I was inspired by all the model building with my dad this weekend. They have a sci fi section that is filled with star trek, star wars, doctor who, and all sorts of other cool models. I should maybe have taken more pictures, but these seemed like enough. The ceiling is covered with complete models. THey've been around since as long as I can remember and I remember going there with my parents as a kid after church to look at the model trains.

Their model train is plagued by Godzilla, btw.

Now, this cool little treat is a character I had thought was completely forgotten.. but is painted on the wall of the taco bell between guitar center and home. This is actually from the trip to turn in my damaged guitar to get the new one, but I didn't think it was worth posting by itself at the time. It was just super cool to be surprised while I was eating with a hand painted picture like this from some random local artist.

Passionflower

It's been a mixed holiday, in some ways very very blessed, and really sad in a few others. Thanks and prayer, prayer and thanks. Maybe I'll talk about it later, but for now, I just wanted to share something extremely beautiful.

I'm Probably Gonna Go Food Nuts Tonight

You know, at first I was thinking I was just going to fry some nice spicy potatoes tonight.

Now, though... I'm thinking that I'm going to dice them and fry them together with some italian sausage, onions, maybe a few other things. Sort of like my peppers and sausage dish, but with potatoe cubes for a starch blended it, maybe add in a little extra cayenne for a kick. That's definitely what I feel like cooking tonight.

But if I add the potatoes in, instead of cooking them on the side.. what do I cook on the side?

Are You Aware of Omegle's New Feature?

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!

Question to discuss:

Do you often feel like the stranger you're talking to is fondling their genitals while they type to you?

Stranger 2: You want me to tease your [Censored] with the tip of my tongue, while i slide 2 fingers deep into your tight wet [Censored].

Stranger 1: ...

Stranger 1: I definitely feel like they are right now.

Stranger 2 has disconnected

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!

Question to discuss:

What really worries you about your future?

 

Stranger 2: Squirrels.

Stranger 2: I fear their beady eyes.

Stranger 2: They look upon my works with jealousy and hunger.

The Only Place I Long to Be

I haven't posted in quite along time... guess I've been letting my arm make me lazy, or guess I've been using my arm as an excuse to be lazy. I hope it's the former, because I'd like to think that now that it's feeling much better I can be a lot more productive again. I like being able to do all the wonderful things I can do with my arms and hands ;-) It's been a very very sad two months not being able to indulge and explore.. as much.

Since I haven't been able to give them as much as I'd like, to begin my return, I begin with flowers for you:

Last weekend was really tiring, but pretty amazing. I can't wait to post some pictures from it, Sean took most of them, so I will share his. By far the most exciting part? Meeting the astronaut Dr. Stanley G. Love. I was incredibly unprepared, and sadly I was unable to visit his panel. When they said the astronaut was coming down the isle to shake hands and answer questions at the con promo tables, I really had no idea what to expect. Maybe someone in an astronaut costume, maybe someone nicknamed the astronaut.. when a real life actual American hero walked up and shook my hand I was blown away. I even shoot his hand with my broken arm and it hurt like hell, but so worth it.

The second really great highlight was dancing my little heart out to Bohemian Rhapsody when the Earthbound Papas performed it during their concert. It was completely out of left field for me and it was both amazing, well performed, and a little funny. I went back and forth from waving my hands and pumping my fists and jumping wildly to laughing occasionally at the surprise of it all.

Time for lunch, now.

Le Sigh

Good bye new Kindle. I guess I will not be buying you this year as I hoped I would when you came out when I decided to wait for 1 generation to upgrade. Maybe next year wont suck so much.

Nothing Much

"The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well." -Horace Walpole


And for a man to succeed in life with a name like Horace, he HAD to know the secret. So, my kindle chose to break at the most inopportune time of all, during my stint as a stumbly wumbly. Playing games for a length of time hurts my arm, though, I can do it more and more often. I can't really go anywhere. It hurts to drive, etc, etc. Having my kindle around gave me plenty of good reading opportunities till it fried out. Thanks to their awesome warranty, though, my new kindle is on its way and will be here thursday. Amazon is incredibly diligent in supporting their hardware and I am very happy to have such a pain free and immediate response to any hardware failures. Can't wait to be reading comfortably in bed again, though, this last day or so I have been feeling so much better. I think the term of this infirmity is near an end.


My gaming time has been split pretty evenly between Borderlands and Bastion. The former is excellent because it is so much fun to play with people who I am close with. I have even been able to play it quite a bit with my sister. The latter is an excellent and extremely well done action RPG with beautiful music, art, and narration.

Not being able to cook dinner or do a any of a million other things is driving me nuts, though. I just want to make some twice baked potatoes, or cook a chicken, or whatever. Hell, serving ice cream is a major pain. Anyway, I'm hungry and I'm off of work, so I will be going. Back again to write another day.

P.S. The new Muppets Movie looks AWESOME.

P.P.S. I keep wanting to paint Tobias blue.

P.P.P.S. Yeah, that's right.

Something Something Nathan Fillion Something Squeeze Cheeze

Swamp Ass PSA Starring Nathan Fillion - Watch MoreFunny Videos

*sigh* I miss my cat.

Menil Collection with Zac and Lucy, then later waiting for Othello to start at Miller Outdoor Theatre 

Watermelon sorbet taken a little too literally:

My dad's guitar recital, vocally accompanied by his wonderful wife:

All the fajitas my new skillet can cook at once:

My splint at the minor emergency clinic for my fracture:

Good company for healing, Tobias Funke on my lap and kindle by my side:

Sometimes I want to paint him blue.


"Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are." - Soren Kierkegaard
"The only way to predict the future is to have power to shape the future." - Eric hoffer(Poetically said and flamboyantly not true)
"We employ the mind to rule, the body to serve." - Sallust

There's a Fire in My Heart that Can't be Put Down

"The past is really almost as much a work of the imagination as the future." - Jessamyn West



Lament for a Syllable

Some days it builds up,
a stirring from within me,
to spew out Haiku

In a little while,
faster than you'd even think,
it feels natural.

Every new sentence and its syllable structure find a sweet balance.

Once it's effortless,
the careful counting of words,
then you start to play.

After all, what is the meaning of a[n] Haiku? What's a single breathe?

Though you still may hold to twelve syllables at once, your thoughts will run wild...

It's not just a game, every word you hear whispered, considered with care...

No longer interchangeable as grains of sand. They are diamonds!

And still you hear them.
You hear the soft whisperings.
They sound like longing.

Longing for meaning.
Words demand to have purpose.
They beg to be heard.

As important as the sound each word will create, the silence after.



Hitler disagrees:



"I mean, go figure. You prepare your home for an assault and you don’t take zombies into consideration. I’d fallen victim to one of the other classic blunders, along with not getting involved in a land war in Asia and never going in against a Sicilian when death was on the line." - Harry Dresden

Come writers and critics who prophecize with your pen

"I've had these scars since the dawn of existence... They symbolize my pain."

The Healing Chimes

With gentle effort I avoid frustration,
the healing clink of minor failure,
steady and soothing the chimes sing,
only to cease with a deafening ring.

To feel the healing,
the rolling waves,
sweet angelic choir,
halting with a clack!

Apparently if you search for Chinese health balls in the health and personal care department at Amazon you may also find a quality selection of ball gags.

Broken Bones and The Nature of Rock

"Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper."
— Thomas Jefferson



Fracture in my right elbow from a fall on friday night. Man, that stings, but it's so minor that it wont even need a cast. So, no guitar for a little while. And I'm dead broke at the moment. Living poor will fix things, but, man, I am glad I have my cushio normally because that is all gone. Breaking my arm ate up my entire savings cushion and I need to rebuild it. 950$. That's going to make it a very very rough few months. Very, very rough. So, to the bank to deposit checks today, after going to chuck's to pick up monies and do some more technical work.

It was a huge relief to be told that I wouldn't need surgery, and my arm is already starting to feel a lot better. And I will count these all as things that are far better than the alternatives and possibilities.

I got invited to google music and have been playing around with that. It's a very cool service, but it may really be obsolete considering how I use Pandora and youtube. It just feels a little wasteful to actually save and store and maintain a music collection. Time, space, money, and energy. Plus, rellying on that makes me miss out on all kinds of new music in a number of areas that I would have missed completely. Though, sometimes it is very awesome to discover music before even pandora has it available. Mammalian Locomotion.

Anyway, I also wanted to include Peppers Amadeus Bond in this post. He passed away last week and will be sorely missed. When he died, I lost a piece of myself, because I loved him dearly. He was an amazing cat who lived an epic life, from a kitten who purred every waking moment, to a giant lion like cat that was royal and brilliant in size and behavior. From 2008-2011. RIP. You will be sorely missed.

I will end this entry with a contemplation on the nature of Rock:

- "And they took my mood ring! And I don't know how I feel about that."

The Future

Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile.
— Nietzsche

This rings particularly true to me, anger and resentment seem more and more to be entirely rooted in a lack of understanding and empathetic vacuum. Everyone universally struggles with their pain, and pain is a relative but very real thing. In any situation there is death to the soul, and absence of something. Even the absence of adversity is an source of great pain as it is adversity under which the soul grows and glows brightest. THe human soul doesn't just need pain, it is able to find it anywhere, and always has and always will.

Oh, and by the way.. fuck yeah, the 80s:



A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
-Roald Dahl

Deuce Sex

I haven't blogged in way too long and it's about time I changed that. Honestly, I think I may have been spending far too much of my personal time playing games, which is not a normal thing for me. Normal to play games, but it is usually in some form of moderation. However, Deus Ex is just too crazy good for me. It does have flaws and in a lot of ways it is lacking compared to the original, in other ways it outshines it, but unlike the second Deus Ex, this one caters to the way I like to play games in the same way that the original did.

It's a very special kind of game that lets me feel and put the effort into being a stealth computer hacking sniper ninja. The original is one of the only games that ever captured that feel for me, it was like Thief, only if I got caught I could whip out my rocket launcher and play Bad JC if I hadn't saved in 6 hours and didn't feel like giving up that chunk of my life to fixing a dumb mistake. Deus Ex: Human Revolution has a lot of this same feel, and a really well developed structure and beautiful environments. For all its flaws, I do consider it a modern classic, and it is good enough to overshadow the orignal, which, for all ITS flaws in some ways is a far supperior game. Examples include the ending, where your actions in the game moved the plot forward. Yahtzee of Zero Punctuation fame feels that the new game is just find the fastest way to the end and then go back and loot all the other routes, but then, I could have sworn he said he played the original, which was the exact same game. It's one of my favorite games of all times, but the level structure is not inferior, and in many ways is very superior, though, most of his other criticisms are dead on acurate.

The "End game choice" machine is stupid and makes the "watch all the different endings" achievement even more absurd.

One of my biggest complaints about the game is that there are achievements for pacifist playthroughs and no alarm playthroughs... but there is no counter anywhere in the game where you can see if you were responsible for someones death enough to discount the one or if that alarm that was running whenever and for whatever reason is enough to disqualify the other.. it's a whole game and not knowing is a major commitment to a decision. And on top of that, for the pacifist achievement.. the Tranquilizer rifle can KILL people on ACCIDENT... with something like a headshot which is designed to knock people out faster and quieter... is the only way to do the silent KO to use the incredibly not silent takedowns that are only available from point blank range? It's actually kind of inspiring, even though it was frustrating to believe halfway through my second playthrough of the game that I had to start over and waste all that effort on the ground that since I liked headshots with the tranq gun that I had more than likely killed with it before. It makes me want to do a 100% lethal run of the game using only non lethal weapons to kill.

But seriously, from what people are saying about that achievement it sounds like you become entirely responsible for the lives of your enemies.. if you knock them out and they fall into electrified water that you couldn't save them from, well, there it goes... if you knock them out and leave them in a room that blows up, goodbye achievement... if you arive at a level and they lock themselves in a room alone and don't let you in to save them and drink the punch just to spite you... well, you get the picture. I'm not just responsible for not killing them, but making sure that their unconscious bodies are undamaged for the rest of the game, it feels like.

Anywho. I've ranted long enough. I could go on, but I don't think anyone would be interested. I've already played the game for 85 hours, after I finish beating it this time, I am going to take a break. Hopefully it will be nice and cool outside by then.

The Hushed Whispers of the Soul, Build that Wall, to Tear it Down

"Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil." - Baltasar Gracian

"The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul." ~William B. Yeats

"To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals." ~Don Schrader

I am fascinated by sleep, but what I dream of is an entire world without it, perpetual light and hours innumerable without rest. Not the perpetual light of day, mind you, but the perpetual light generated for the purposes of fighting the night with heart and soul. Sleeping, lazily dreaming have always been a naughty vice, a shameful human habit. Be up before dawn, work till after dark, then fill your soul with companionship and sex, and then if you absolutely must, sleep a few moments before doing it all again. No one says it, no one lets it past their lips, but it is written everywhere and in the faces of every man and woman. Sleep is for the children, to keep them from spoiling our fun. Lets say it out in the open... lets let the words ring clear... We have conquered the world, we have conquered the human genome, and the very workings of the atom. What we dream of, what we are fevered with, what we fight with every corner of our being. We want to be wakeful forever, and throw off the shackles of that thief of the night.

"Without music life would be a mistake." ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"He who sings scares away his woes." ~Cervantes

"Men profess to be lovers of music, but for the most part they give no evidence in their opinions and lives that they have heard it." ~Henry David Thoreau

"Alas for those that never sing, But die with all their music in them!" ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

I'll Say This As Emphatically As I Can...

Fuck yeah, Mrs. Robinson.


"Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not." - Samuel Johnson



Simon and Garfunkle never used autotune.. but what if they did?

Richard Cory by Edwin Arlington Robinson

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean-favoured and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good Morning!" and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich, yes, richer than a king,
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine -- we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked and waited for the light,
And went without the meat and cursed the bread,
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet in his head.

Beautiful Guitar Playing

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