Saturday, August 30, 2003

Well, accomplishments for today... Three new comics. Completion of Tron 2.o, come monday I'll write a review to the best of my abilities. Possibly alienating a very good friend and seperating myself forever from someone I thought I would never stop being friends with. Practicing my arnis martial arts till my thumbs blister. Beating mission 2 of F-Zero on Very Hard mode. A fourth and fifth comic still on paper. And the night is still young, it's only 9, and I'm wide awake. I think I'll go out and practice till my blisters break, because I didn't do enough footwork. I really want to box... I don't have a punching bag so I can't practice my boxing against that, maybe one of my friends will be up for some one on one with the gloves on. I've discovered I have a lot of inner agression and frankly I wouldn't mind waking up tomorrow with a million bruises and not being able to breath right for a week. For me that's kindof like prayer. I pray too, but when I pray it isn't this all consuming flame inside of me like these things are, I can leave behind and do something till I break and can't do it anymore. Jumping off a cliff is like prayer, falling out of a tree, a punch in the face, a car wreck. Frankly I'm not stupid enough to pray in the really dangerous ways, of those Ive only done 3 and only one voluntarily. I remember my last car wreck, I was facing the other way before I even knew what was happening, it took forever. When I got out of the car I could barely stand up and I was shaking. I want to not be able to stand up right now. I want to run till my body tingles and I can't breath, I want to fall on the grass and hurt. I want to get lost in the woods and I want to be afraid I'll never go home again. I want to get lost at sea and wreck on a beach. I want to do something thats so consuming that I stop feeling everything else. That's how I want to pray right now.
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