This weekend was very satisfying. On friday night I was up till 2 am as usual... doing homework and laundry. Woke up promptly at 7 am to no hot water, and began my trek to my truck, lugging my portfolio and my tools case. Class went by quickly, it was very rewarding. I really like Drawing I and I think it will end up doing me quite a bit of good. Maybe if I ever make anything even worth looking at I'll post it up here. Probably not, unless I surpass my old stuff. But I suppose that is a distinct possibility.

Later on that night we had a grill and a good six people showed up for it. It was very nice to slow cook fajitas and fresh corn on the cob. We sat around, chatting, and listening to music and George and Jake saw Donny Darko, which I was compelled to buy as neither of them had ever seen it before. It was tough to do so, because I had spent 30 the night before buying a copy of the greatest operating system ever. I mean, wow, I love Go, it's such a beautiful game. When I saw there was an OS dedicated to it I was compelled to purchase it and the accompanying thumb drive as I don't have one of my own anyway. We chilled and shared our Fable characters and traded books. I got a horrible headache though for no reason around 11.

It was terrible, and I still stayed up till 2 a.m. playing Fable before I finally went to sleep. And even then, it was a restless sleep. But when I woke up, I felt normal. Like I'd had a normal sleep and like I'd never had a headache, I didn't feel great, but because it contrasted against the headache from the night before, I felt GREAT. It was like being reborn.

Later on that day George and Mike showed up, and they worked on Mike's laptop and other various small tasks while I was working with Scott on Short. So far, Scott has been mostly dictating, but the more I work with him on this the more I can actually guess what we're going to do next. I don't have the vision to write something like this yet, or do the planning for it, but I can understand when I look at it already done, and we haven't written anything yet, just trimmed and cut and rewritten bits to fit other bits.

During a break, Mike, George, and myself went to eat and to walmart for George to get a new tape to play his iRiver in his car. While we were there I longingly gazed at Dawn of War. I'm not going to spend my money. I wonder what would happen if I was totally responsible with my money for once. Would I perhaps have savings? You never know. When we got back, Mike and George were out the door by midnight but when Scott and I started up again at 1 we were hindered by countless yahoo bugs and computer crashes and we didnt finish until 4 am. Fun, Fun.

I mean, it was LOTS of fun. But the way my eyes burned when I wake up this morning wasn't. Anyway, we've debugged and fooled around in Short, and now it works. It's an instant engine ready for world generation. You can walk around in a fairly large room filled with random objects that show off the line of sight system. Debugging left me behind again. Showed me I still have a lot to learn and I need to remember other things better, but each mistake I make I do my best to remember not to make it again. I wonder if we can have this game all wrapped up in a week, or maybe two or three. It would be amazing if we could. I can't wait to see how the parser will work.

Maybe the competition will get George to do some real work with me. I'd like to see him work on our project. I'm always willing to drive for it. And I do show initiative, but the dude get's distracted. *shrug* Only time will tell. For what little I've done while working with Scott, I feel intensely rewarded for my efforts and I can't wait to do more work on it later. Now back to familiarization with the code. Ciao.

Make up post for friday. I brought my XBox to work and played Fable all day. I have a really bad headache right now, I threw an awesome bbq tonight and everyone had lots of fun. Hope everyone else in the world had an awesome evening. Goodnight.

Make up post for friday. I brought my XBox to work and played Fable all day. I have a really bad headache right now, I threw an awesome bbq tonight and everyone had lots of fun. Hope everyone else in the world had an awesome evening. Goodnight.

Sooooooooooooo close to finishing The Forever Hero today, going to read it hard core, should finishe before I go home tonight. Going to eat out with Mike. Decided to grill hamburgers on saturday evening.

*sigh* Just a sad slow day. Hot outside, but as the day wears on the airconditioning keeps up with it better. It was a nice weekend, I saw City of Lost Children. It was a fun movie, had some very cute moments. I'm feeling a little sick and I'm pretty busy, so I'm done for the day.

Fair bit of news today. Nintendo has announced a release date for the Nintendo DS, and they have also announced that they will be installing pictochat onto the hardware so that it will be an active communication device right out of the box. It has also been set at a release price of 149$, which is nice enough, I guess. I won't be getting it till Metroid Prime: Hunters comes out. But I will have to get it eventually. Shame, so many games are coming out. I don't think I'll be able to afford all of them. I'll manage one way or another.

I am a Fenderson. You can be one too. The specific rules and regulations for how to become a fenderson are documented in the fourth or fifth edition intro to the principia discordia. I forget which and even if I remembered, I certainly wouldn't tell you, of all people. But for the sake on not denying anyone the priviledge of becomming a Fenderson by not telling them how, so for your benefit I will abreviate it here. You simply say, " I am a Fenderson, " and then you are one.

What is being a Fenderson good for? Well, far be it for me to tell you, but, it's really only what you make of it. Certainly, if you use it to start your own Greater Brittish Empire you have certainly done more with it today than most, but that is by no means a guarantee. But that should never stop you from trying. If it helps, if you were to start your own nation without borders I will certainly be glad to join it; but I feel you should be aware, I tend to feel that it would be just as fun to destroy a new nation as to start one. Fair warning given.

If you're a fenderson, do me a favor, and email me and let me know. I'd certainly like to know who to avoid at the family reunion. Fnord.

Find out what's wrong with your brain. Scanning yourself for mental viral infection is the first step to not doing anything about it at all.

Fable is consuming my days, but I would give it up in an instant to begin working on a game, Scott mentioned helping me work on a roguelike. It's burning up here, the airconditioning is on full and I still feel like I am trapped in an oven. I am trying to smile and just stand in front of the vents but it is getting harder and harder.

I recently found out that since the last time I looked at any pertinent Gamespot account information they have added an AMAZING amount of functionality that essentially measures gamespot as a community now and not just a news and review website. They also deleted all the reviews I posted on there. I am reposting them and perhaps, it is my secret hope, they will be noticed and appreciated. Maybe I will review Fable, Doom III, and Thief III, and Farcry like I meant to so many times.

Got Fable yesterday and learned that I was picking it up the day AFTER it came out. All I can say after 10 or so total hours on the game is... WOW. I love the game. The quests will never have multiple solutions, though they will have multiple outcomes based on how well you did; so the game can never really be more than an action RPG. However, even so, it is the most dynamic, inclusive, expansive, and unique action RPG ever. It truely is the very best at what it is, and even if it isn't the best role playing game ever, it is on par with the best, easily. Some may even disagree with me. I know now, playing this game, that I will be playing it again and again and again.

My best chicken kick is 12.005 feet. Highest combat multiplyer is 11. Could have been higher but I got hit at the last minute. Could have been MUCH higher. I wish there were a way to just print out the statistics to a txt file and then copy paste to here. Maybe one of these days, saturday most likely, I'll take the time to copy my stats by hand onto here.

Right now I'm at work and I didn't bring my xbox so I'm starting to have cold sweats and even some of the shakes... I'll be fine after I play just one more quest, that's all I need, I swear. I can quit after just one more quest. I can quit anytime I want.


In other news, George bought an xbox last night just for Fable, which he bought with it. Played it all last night and most of this morning when we started comparing notes. It's amazing how much you can enjoy the game if you don't run straight through it, given our pretty much equal 5 hour progress through the game we have both spent maybe 10 or 15 hours actually playing and starting over various times. I'm trying to search out every single nook and cranny of the game... I LOVE some of the mini games like showing off trophies or bar table coin golf. George says he doesn't plan on playing any other games on his XBox, but I'll make a console gamer out of him yet. I already KNOW that he wants to play Crimson Skies... I'll work on loaning him that after he finishes Fable, then after that, probably not too long because crimson skies is a short game, Ninja Gaiden. Ninja Gaiden will both frustrate and elate him simultaniously. After that, there is more work to be done, Jade Empire, Conker: Life and Reloaded, etc.

Signing out.

Okay, well, Mike had an interesting idea. A comic styled text adventure. Basically a text adventure with comic depictions of the actions you take. Sounds cool. But he doesn't want to do the story about playing as a thief. Trouble is, he doesnt know what story he does want to do. Catch 22. So, not much to do till he knows what sort of story he wants.

I still really like the idea of playing a thief and having certain tools and developing alternate solutions to puzzles in a text adventure. I think it makes it more gamelike, asigning points based on the difficulty of the solution. Oh well, when he decides what to make his story about, I'll help him out even though he could do it himself.

>You are standing precariously on a ledge on the twentieth story of the Gerswin Tower. Your harness is latched to a rope that is dangling precariously below you as you feel the with blowing hard through the space between all the building high above the city streets. You are holding a glass cutter as you brace yourself against the office window.

>look at window

>As you glance at the office window you notice that the occupant has been alerted to your pressence and is reaching inside is desk for what looks like a gun. He pulls it out and levels it at you taking careful aim.

>cut rope

>The glass window begins to shatter where you were less than a second before. Surrounded by a confetti of glass shards, you begin to fall. . . .

This weekend was really slow. I had my art class on saturday morning, but it did pick up when I went to Jake's party on saturday evening. It was very fun, Jake and I talked a good deal about books and he beat Metroid Prime for the first time, and I played the Metroid Prime 2 demo. It was good... not way beyond MP, but about as good. Jake's dad makes incredible bbq, and his brisket was excellent. Sunday was lazy, lazy, lazy, read over 100 pages of The Forever Hero. Ate diner with Mike, George, Jackson, Marcia, and Kayla. After that read more Forever Hero and went to sleep late.

When Mike called, we talked about how George wasn't working much on the game. Mike has been really intrigued by the idea of making his own game for a long while, and so we discussed some possibilities. I had a really cool idea of being a thief, and he said sci fi, and I think the two can be combined awesomely. Being a sci fi thief with all kinds of neat tools for picking locks and breaking through things in a text adventure. I could do some neat stuff with that. I hope he is ready to work on it in the next few weeks.

The Forever Hero is turning out to be a pretty good book, I am really enjoying it. Of course it was probably a good guess that I would enjoy it. The Magic of Recluse series is some of the best fantasy I have ever read, the man is simply amazing. He is very good at making very mundane believable worlds our of extraordinary universes. It's a very tough thing to do.

I really need to find something interesting out here to do.. I'm falling asleep and I really don't want to. The weather is too warm for my liking and I am very uncomfortable. I keep fantasizing about playing World of Warcraft when I get home. The desire to play it is almost sexual.

Last night I ate at IHOP with Mike and George. The food was okay, but it didnt feel like it was worth 10 dollars and I think I overate. I always seem to over eat, I should order things with smaller portions. Maybe it has something to do with how much I eat out.

I have Drawing I tomorrow. Second class, so far. I need to do my homework for it, still. I am really hoping that this class will improve my artwork. It would mean a lot to me if it did. I am working on a logo for a company for Mike. If they like it, I may even get paid. I've got a couple of ideas. It would help if they better knew what they wanted.

Jake is throwing a party sometime tomorrow evening. That should be fun to go to, I can't wait to try more of his dad's cooking. His dad always cooks competitively at the rodio, he is an awesome chef, and his food is delicious.

Being unique is always measured as being 1 in a million. How many parts of a million would someone average be? 555,555 in a million? 999,999 doesnt seem right. What are the genuine odds of being average after you've seperated it from all the chances of being unique?

Demos galore are out, now, as a new one for the Warhammer 40k game Dawn of War is out to download. The game has gone gold and will be hitting shelves none too soon. I probably wont be buying it with all the games that I already have to buy dragging me down. Fable comes out on wednesday. I am looking forward to that very much.

Political news: John Kerry pulls his political campaign down to only 14 states, neglecting his promise to take the fight to every single republican state in the union, moreover, writing off 6 to 8 states that could have swung either way.

I've been reading my GURPS books hard core, and I'm more than ready to game master the current game with Chris and George and Scott and Kevin. Chris and George are on a mining mission to Jupiter's rings. Chris is pressently on his way to the rings with a crew of four others, one of whom will have an accident and force a rondezvous with a returning mining ship and a crew trade, moving George onto the same ship. Chris is in the employ of the black market and will be in particular trouble this trip when he has to deal with Kevin and George, space pirates extraordinairre. Should be fun; I love player versus player combat.

I grilled last night. I made hamburgers and chicken fajitas and corn on the cob. Everyone loved it, I always love cooking for people. My friend Jake is having a get together on friday or saturday and having brisket, I'm definitely going, it should be fun.

Only a few more days till Fable comes out. Should be in my hands by next wednesday. For now I'm going to settle for playing lots of Ninja Gaiden. I am loving that game, I am up to 30 scarabs in it. I've only missed one so far and I hope I can go back to get it. Probably wont be able to though, oh well, my loss.

Doom 3 has a demo coming out now for all those who don't have it and haven't tried it. I guess it's a little late for me considering I've already beat the game. Maybe I'll try it and then buy another copy of it. Well, I would if Fable weren't coming out next week.

There is a Star Trek MMORPG in the works. Eat your hear out, Mike.

Well, I've neglected this for almost a year, which is unforgivable considering the number of writing experiments I've done on the page. I'm going to update every day now. It may be trivial but an update is an update. I'll do my best to find at least one thing every day that I feel will be worth seeing. Maybe I'll even better myself through this exercise.

This morning my dad bought me 55 dollars worth of art supplies. It was very kind of him, I really needed them, and I hadn't even considered that they would cost that much. Charcoals, Conte Crayons... large sketchpads, fixative spray, etc. All of them are on the list of things I need for my drawing I class, and I'm not really in a financial spot to pay for it all. My technical skill has always, I feel, been my biggest failing in my artistic expression. Dad, if you ever read this, thank you very much and I love you.

I've also been reading The Forever Hero by L.E. Modesitt Jr. He wrote the Magic of Recluse series and so I have to give his sci-fi a try, as the Recluse books are some of the best books I have ever read and rise up to the level of the Lord of the Rings. Perhaps higher, at the very least they were wildly original. So, now I have to try his sci-fi. So far I am enjoying it greatly.

For today, I found out there is a transatlantic tunnel that has taken over sixty years to build that will be run by a maglev train between the US and the UK. Readuing about it has made me feel rather small in comparison and has given me a new respect for some presidents .

That's all I really have to say for today, so I will bow out with a quote.

"In 1969, as Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon, Lyndon B. Johnson became the first American President to walk underneath the Atlantic Ocean. "

I am a Gauntlet Adventurer. I strive to improve my living conditions by hoarding gold, food, and sometimes keys and potions. I love adventure, fighting, and particularly winning - especially when there's a prize at stake. I occasionally get lost inside buildings and can't find the exit. I need food badly. What Video Game Character Are You?

Jeff panted and gasped treasuring each sweet breath into his lungs for mere seconds before he exhaled every one violently into the air. His throat was dry from the rapid wind that flew through it as his lungs struggled to steal every kiss of oxygen within them. The street curb felt like the only solid thing in the world as he sat on it. He could feel a trickle of blood itching at his eyebrow as it began to mingle and submerse the hairs and he reached his arm up, ripe with fresh sweat and he nestled his forehead in the crook of his elbow and wiped it clear across to the underside of his wrist; he then held his palm against his head and looked upwards to the bleak night sky and everything stung like wild fire on his skin. He thought for a second and thought he tasted blood.

His mouth, wide open, smiled wide letting a laugh escape and maybe he even cried a little but his face was so beaded with sweat that even he couldn't know. Every salty drop on his body reflected in their tiny visages a young boy wrestling with all his might and for all his life against his brother. And his eyes held happiness deep within them as they cringed with infinite sadness and happiness all at once.

The arms that had served him so well lost all their strength and his palm fell from his face, the starlight highlighting the blood streaked blond hairs of his arm, and his other let him fall to the ground. His body quivered and maybe he was laughing and maybe he was crying but what David saw, as he knelt on the ground his strength gone, his will to fight fading, scared the hell out of him. It made him feel, it made him feel so strongly that he almost let himself fall. It went against everything he knew and it left him hollow inside, it left him alone because he couldn't see why everything he knew was upside down right now. Why Jeff wasn't angry... why he was laughing!

Jeff's head rolled toward David and his cheek rested on the grass as his sweat dripped onto the fragile green blades. He sprawled his legs out and let his heels rest out on the street. He caught his breath in gulps and David thought he saw some red on his teeth, and watching Jeff try to mouth some words froze him in place and he listened as they started to form and become audible as the noise of the world began to turn back up.

" I... I... " He took a deep breath in and tried again, " I haven't felt so alive in all my life. " and he started to try to force himself up again. David just stared at him, the fight flashing through his brain every second every punch, every single head but flashed at him with pure clarity. The fury that Jeff had fought with had been so pure and brutal; nothing had stopped him as he took blow after blow screaming with fury. David's crouching legs gave out beneath him and he fell on his ass catching himself and holding himself up with his hands behind him. All that fury was just gone.

" What? "

" I feel so good right now... so very, very good, " Jeff gasped his chest rising and falling violently.

" Maybe you just missed it but in case you don't remember you're bleeding pretty bad, maybe you broke your skull, " David spat at him bracing himself for another rush of fury.

" I just don't know, I feel free. "

David reached up and touched a sting on his own brow where his head had hit the curb and felt the cooling damp patch. A damp light red patch was clearly visible on his fingers as he pulled them away. It was barely a scrape apparently. It still stung like hell though. The red though... Yeah, he could see clearly now though, he knew what Jeff was feeling. And he knew what to say.

" Thank you, " Jeff whispered in a sad tone that sounded far, far away and if he hadn't spoken again David would have thought that it was a dream that he dreamed too loud. " Thank you, so very much for helping me. "

David felt something inside himself hurting. That scratched something very old and very strongly rooted in him and he heard himself saying what he needed to say to Jeff. He couldn't force himself to say it but he started scratching at the wall that wouldn't let him speak, he started breaking what he could through the wall. It sounded, though, like he said, " Look... don't thank me. What are you thanking me for? I didn't do anything. "

Jeff lolled. His head just sort of rolled back and forth and landed facing the other way looking at the bright light of the streetlamp. With his face turned away David could see the dark stream of black down Jeff’s cheek. It was smeared sickly, and thin from being diluted by saltwater, but a fresh drizzle was making its way along.

Each statement became weaker and harder to say than the last as he continued to fight the wall inside him and he felt the wall losing. He couldn’t even look at Jeff anymore. Jeff’s pain reminded him of his pain. That pain that he could remember feeling himself so vividly that he began to feel it again. The feel of such great, trapped pain rushing out of yourself like water burning and at the same time leaving you cleansed when it was exposed. “ Jeff, man, I’m… fuck… I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry. I wasn’t thinking. “

Jeff rolled his head back to David. ” What? “

“ You heard me, “ David said indignantly. He felt insulted and the wall began to close up again. He had opened up to the fucker and apologized, for Christ’s sake, and now he was going to have to listen to some bullshit. David wasn’t going to repeat himself.

“ No. “ Jeff breathed in, heavily grunting the word as he began to push his body back into a sitting position on the curb. “ No, really, I was looking the other way; I didn’t hear what you said. I’m sorry. “
“ Hey, don’t worry about it, it wasn’t important. “ The combination of the pain of sitting up in Jeff’s voice and the honesty made David’s anger fade; but he still wasn’t repeating himself. He decided what to do next though and pulled out his pack of cigarettes and flipped open the box. The first he pulled out was bent and crumpled. David threw it without a second though. Then the next… it was even worse. When he pulled out his last cigarette eventually it was barely better than the first, but, sitting in the street with it in his hand, it occurred to him that it was indeed better than nothing at all and he put the beat up cig in his mouth. He threw the box randomly like all the broken cigarettes and he fished for his lighter, flashed it and then held it with his other hand hooded over it to keep the fire from going out and puffed the cigarette to life before putting it away.

“ Let’s go get something to drink. “ He said after a few drags. “ I’ll buy you a drink. “

“ I’m game for that. “ Jeff replied as he stumbled up onto his wobbly legs and almost fell right back down again. It occurred to David once again as he watched Jeff stumble that merely minutes ago, this man who could barely walk might have killed him. Then, only for a second, the thought that maybe he should have let him flashed through his mind and were gone without a second consideration.

I am paralyzed by my own duality, I can do nothing without feeling that it was perhaps the wrong thing to do, I fail to push society forward and I drag myself down. I feel I must rebel. I feel I must hate myself and sink to the bottom. I feel it will not be a vacation from happiness but a spiritual battle against which I can do nothing but lose, but which I have to fight. I am afraid of myself. I am afraid of the world. I am afraid I have to do something. I am afraid there's nothing to do.

Hello friends, going to write a couple more segments in a bit. The world is a little bleak for me, but I don't share the views of the character with my name. He's a lot worse of than he sounds in the last bit, believe it or not he was being friendly and professional. I needed to do some research, I've never actually seen most of the drugs I want to talk about, I only saw weed once. Believe it or not I was pissed that a friend brought it into my house. So I've been having to ask around questions that sound really stupid like "what does crystal meth look like", and "how do you take it?" and then more so "what's it look like when you take it like that?" which i had to ask like 5 times for crystal meth since you can take it so many ways. I mean, maybe I'm a dumbass but I don't really have a clue how Coke makes you feel when you inhale it. Oh well.. just some of my thoughts about the list of things I need to know...